I Can’t Help Someone Who is Not Willing to Help Themselves

This sentence changed my life.

3 years into my marriage, I had hit a wall. I made this statement to my wife… as you probably guessed, it was not well received…

I was told that I need to love her as she is and for who she is or get out.

On October 19th, 2018, we will celebrate 22 years of marriage.

My wife has shown me so much grace and mercy over the course of our relationship. She is an incredible woman and I am grateful for her. (143!)


What does this verse have to do with what I wrote above? What I learned in that exchange is that I had a complete mindset to change and I had to learn how to love rightly. Not just my wife, but everyone. I am still on that journey and I still make mistakes and say things that hurt, but I am able to recognize it, make amends, ask for forgiveness and move forward.

In other words, I have turned that question inward. I have looked at myself and asked if I was willing to help myself love better. Am I willing to do the work to make things right and better?

I came across another quote that says it this way:


Instead of complaining, blaming and condemning people for not living up to the unrealistic expectations I have of them in my mind, I HAD to do the hard work myself and figure this out.

Complaining, whining and excuse making are no longer acceptable. If we are to be the people we are called to be, let’s agree right now to put in the work to do just that!

As I have said in previous posts, awareness is a call to action. Once you are aware, you have a choice to make… you can complain about something, you can ignore it or you can step up, take action and change.

Be blessed!



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